Ingenue :)

Saturday, August 12, 2006

>>> I LOVE HER

I said no excessive OTs for my current job in earlier entries.

I take that back.

I joined the team at a time where applications flow endlessly. Each time someone retrieve the faxes/mails/emails for the whole dept, more than half of the bundle would be ours. My colleague said it won't last long though, because this is the period customers receive their taxes statements. Somebody help the team!! Anyway I won't be staying long based on my retarded pay. Crossing my fingers for several vacancies in the same bank (operations again, what else). Too lazy to find a job in a different company la.

For being way too lazy I am in a "screwed" state right now. Studies. Oh my god.
I'm either giving myself no stress at all, to a point of being downright lazy - or I give myself too much stress. Cock.
I'm locking myself away until I get everything right, until I piece all the messy parts of my life together.

So to you:
Can't you tell I have time for nothing else??
Maybe you can't, because you think nobody in this world could be as busy as you.
Stop assuming things like I have a boyfriend/I'm already married(what bull), by asking me this :

Are you at your place or at your boyfriends'?

It helps if you could have just asked me whether I have one or not in the first place.
For the record, last I could remember I am still a swinging 21 year old single.
My two major commitments happen to be studies and work.
And! I am not one of those girls that cannot survive without a boyfriend.
I am more than pleased with my freedom right now.

Oh, and since I'm slightly pissed at the moment, I might as well bring it further.
Someone decided to burn bridges today. Well actually it has happened for a week or so by now. But I was too oblivious to notice. Besides, I'm too naive/idealistic to think that this friendship could still hold on. She might appear to be very pleasant and idealistic. But the things she does shows otherwise. Lesson learnt.

Moving along.

Christine, I'm glad that you're back on track. I love you too!!
And I'll pray hard that your phone bill will not burn some hole in your wallet.

10:32 PM

Sunday, August 06, 2006

>>> AT HOME!

Yesh I am sick and at home on a Saturday night :)
The much dreaded cough is back.

Lonely, sick, poor and ugly me. Sad right!! Bah..
DH has been bugging me to say yes. What's with the rush dude?? It's NOT like a marriage or something. And since you've just ended one, you shouldn't rush right into the next without weighing your options properly first, isn't it?

Besides, I'm still too fond of JC. Can't figure out what I'm going to do about that. Still, I think I responded very "auntie-ly".

ME : WAIT LA. WAIT LA.

DH : FOR HOW LONG?

ME : 2 YEARS. AFTER I GET THE DUMB DEGREE.

DH : THEN I WILL....BLABLABLABLABLA...(CRAZY MUSHY NONSENSE)

Enough said.

Anyway, to rid myself of all the horrid nightmares I've been having lately (I keep dreaming about deaths *shivers*), I browsed through some old video collections. Brimmed with delight after discovering a lovely Jap MV.

My first crush la. Yutaka Takenouchi.
Ish ish, sooooo young and kiddish that time, but already started to like guys with this kind of pattern.

Remember to pause the background song before playing the Mv yeah!
It's actually the OST for Ice World, some Jap drama serial that was seriously popular back in the mid or late 90's. Predictably I was a crazy jumping hormone-raging pimply fan. I would play the song over and over again for a few hundred times and I would still keep going on. Sigh. The lyrics a bit cheesy, but so are a lot of direct translations of foreign songs.

======================================================

I made your heart cry today,
[so] the angels are testing to see
if my love is sparkling glass,
or a diamond covered in ash.

The sunset will eventually reveal the answer...

Right now I'm loving you
To love you is to live... to shine...
Always loving you
While melting away the frozen loneliness...

On the night filled with the lonely moon
let's hold each other inside of of my coat.
Because people aren't strong enough to control the violent pain in their hearts.
Tonight, just lean on me with your tear-drenched eyes...

Yeah, I'm loving you
Regardless of how much I've been hurt,
this love is a diamond.
Always loving you
Even if I can't yet erase the loneliness that snows down...
To fill the puzzle with pieces of endearment will surely be a map to paradise.

Sometimes I really love staying at home.

It started when I fell in love with him in this movie.....Playing the piano :)
It's surprising how similar things in movies are with real life.

*melts*

1:03 AM

Saturday, August 05, 2006

>>> KIND SOULS

I wanted to blog about my new job, but I found nothing interesting about it. So it was left out. Then I wanted to write about my reunion with a couple of poly mates, but I was too lazy. After that I decided to just post photos. I lost mood when I realised that they are scattered everywhere on my desktop - so terribly messy and unorganized!! Was very happy when one of my colleague brought a camera to Michelle's birthday outing today. And we happily forgot to take photos (argh).

Note : Each sentence typed is punctuated with yawning and eye-rubbing.

This is definitely NOT one of my best-looking days. So easily tired!! Looking like a zombie all the time!! I have changed in a really short span of time, physically and mentally. Things have become uglier, I think. Hehe. This is not how a 21 year old should behave. I must be full of zest and energy okay!! Sigh..

I must thank all the kind souls who have been helping me since the day we met until now. It has been, in a way, a trying time for me (only 1 month and I'm complaining??). The volume in my dept has been flowing continuously and one of the interns is unintentionally making us do double work. Wey too much lor. Only my supervisor can stand him, such a patient woman.

More bitching/complaints/photos(hopefully)/words in the next entry. Getting too sleepy to cont'd.

2:17 AM

Sunday, July 30, 2006

>>> TEMPTATIONS

Life has passed me by in blur moments of juggling between work and studies.

Sometimes I really wonder what have I gotten myself into.

6:02 PM

Friday, July 21, 2006

>>> MORE INTERVIEWS PLEASE

Ok, maybe it's not too convenient to discuss about that here.
But it went well.

I don't know what's it with me. My new job is offering everything that I need while studying part-time. The most worrying part has already been taken off the list - which is no excessive overtimes (unless I count the time waiting for Michelle to go to school together as OT). Also, things are not too stressful. It will be tough once every month though. The billing days. Now waiting with much anxiety over my first billing day. Sweats..

So don't ask me why did I go for an interview, or even hoping for more. I must have gone mad. I still feel a little weird going back to the same bank actually.

But then again, now that it's a different dept...

No more talking to customers with sticks up their asses!!
More drama now though. With a cute cartoon character leading the role..Gulps..I think I'm too mean in my judgment..
And also might be suffering the HDPM syndrome. Got to help them whenever they call.

Nah, I am just suffering from pay-cut syndrome. Sigh.

12:20 AM

Thursday, July 13, 2006

>>> THE START

At last I have the drive to post an entry.

Photos will not be uploaded yet, because I'm too lazy. Hehe.
I spent almost a month's break, bummed around, enjoyed myself, came back, and started work almost immediately. Unlike me right? But while I can afford bumming back in Penang, last thing I want to do is to run out of $$$ while looking for a job here. So I jumped at Michelle's offer at once.

Right now I hate not having the time to scrub my feet and pamper myself at home. These are hectic times.
4 classes in one week so far, siao or what.

So many new things to learn at work. So many new things to learn in school.
My first day in school happened to be my first day at work also. That sucked!!

But I might have just found the perfect job to fit my study schedule after all. I said might have, because I've just gotten into my second week in the new department.

Wish me luck..

11:54 PM

Monday, June 05, 2006

>>> REAL SHIVERS

I bombed the Math paper, I think. Only lady luck can determine whether I pass or fail now (sigh) and what better timing to catch a cold and high fever than now??!? Think my nose started running on the super cold bus early this morning, then continued to torture me all throughout the paper.

I went to work straight after the paper ended, and have to stay until 11 (T_T) I'm so so shivering from top to toe, and at the same time feeling like a burning candle. My partner can smell the scent of barbecued ingenue (she prefers to name me lobster, probably because of my cute red nose ;p) My body is screwed. The red nose is cute yes, but it's also very painful from all the friction caused by non-stop rubbing...*sniff*

I want to go home and sleep!!!!! One more Econs paper to go.
Doct gave me 2 days MC. Tomorrow's my second last day at work. Should I go?? Or should I just rest at home??

10:35 PM

Sunday, June 04, 2006

>>> EXAM SHIVERS

I seriously think that I have evolved into a pathetic low-life and lazy creature. I applied for leave to prepare for my exams starting tomorrow, and what do I do with it? I treated myself to a good meal yesterday, and now I'm blogging as if I've finished studying (I haven't even started on Calculus yet, the horror of it!) Ok, to make myself feel less guilty, I'm going to make this as short as possible. Afterwhich I can continue with The Last Templar, this interesting book lent by dear ol sis. I told you. I'm hopeless. Reading a book!!!

Anyway here's a drool-worthy picture.

I'M OBVIOUSLY KIDDING.

THE ACTUAL DROOL-WORTHY PICTURE :

all-star burger!!

After a hard day's revising, uncle and I went to MS for dinner. We were so so hungry, that I thought Billy Bombers would be a good choice. I don't know about others, but the size of their servings is guaranteed to satisfy our humongous appetite!! Uncle had this all-star burger (got two eggs!!TWO!!) and I fell in love with this.

ROUTE 66 - cheese mushroom egg. lovely!

would you just look at the cheese?!!?

I love how they allowed me to choose my beef patty served medium-rare (unlike many fast food outlets that have well-done patties eurgh), and love how the whole combi of cheese, mushroom, fried egg and potato salad can taste so good. I'm never a burger or fast food kind of person. My ultimate favourite is and always will be chinese cuisine. But this one caught me by surprise!! Is definitely something...My only regret is not trying the milkshakes..

**

I am so so super stressed!!!

I hate Math!!! *sob*

I'm going to burn the midnight oil and fall asleep on my notes. Laters!

10:46 AM

Saturday, May 27, 2006

>>> ALL-TIME LOW

I can't wait to go for my so-called short holiday. Miss Dee, stop working already and go back this June k...A big hug from you will help (well not like I mind a "lingering" kiss on top of that too ;p) ..And you still owe me a good cuppa coffee remember??

Watched Xmen3 with the office peeps yesterday! Nice show, even though I knew practically nothing about the story before stepping into the cinema. One thing to take note of - don't leave when the credits start rolling, cos there is an "additional" scene at the end..So yes, I have been doing everything except studying for my coming exams (T_T")

These days my blogging mood has hit all-time low!! Things like uploading my photos onto my photobucket account- now I find it so troublesome and time-consuming. I don't like to abandon blogs and I'll hate to think of the missing timeframe when I track back on past entries. But how? Each time I reach home I have to think of waking up early the next day - so hitting the bed right away always is the best option. Then when it comes to weekends I have to burn my Saturday for lessons, which means I only get to rest (as in really sleep late) for one pathetic day..

Actually I didn't want to whine, but I'm exhausted!! I hate being exhausted, because I'm a very lazy girl. Hehe. All that aside, I'm pretty contented with the way things are going for me right now. Once I quit my job, I'll get to bum around for all I care (actually, limited to only 2 weeks) afterwhich actual classes will commence.

11:24 AM

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

>>> I REMEMBER

I remember the first gaze. And the second deeper look. The chilling autumn breeze, the path covered with maple leaves.

I remember the Friendster testimonials.

I remember the mind-blowing rollercoaster. The prayer muttered shortly before the ride commenced. I remember how I sniggered ;p

I remember the talk at Dongdaegu.

I remember the spider on my hands. In the bullet train.

I remember the balloon puppy, the belated birthday note.

I remember my first encounter with "the wife". We got along so well that I'm missing her more and more each day.

I remember the first touch of hands.

I remember how I slowly came to realise that the past relationships were meaningless.

I remember how I smiled till my jaw ached when I read the letters. I read it before sleep, when I woke up, and whenever I needed comfort. Those letters remind me of how lucky I am.

I remember the MP3 player. And the Christmas tree.

I remember The Incredibles. And how Jack-Jack became our baby.

I remember the piano. How we took turns to display our talent :)

I remember the first road trip.

I remember the first wedding ring. Made of balloons.

I remember how I broke his heart apart when I started lying.

I remember how he discovered my flawed character, and yet persisted on.

I remember how an insignificant but vengeful person harmed a rocky relationship.

I remember how things were never the same anymore. How the vase was broken and could never be mended again.

I remember the tears, and the pain. The fights and quarrels that wore us out.

I remember how it ended. Despair and disappoinment were the only thing left.

I remember how I tried to move on.

I remember how I hated saying goodbye.

I remember how miserably I failed.

I remember the sleepless nights. How I cry myself to sleep.

I remember how I clung on to a hope that really wasn't there anymore.

I remember how much I loved him, and how much I have taken for granted.

I remember how much I still do.

I remember how I imagined him singing "you'll never find another love like mine" by michael buble. To me.

I remember. How sorry I am for the tears, and for the pain.

1:11 AM